If they have a Spotify account, you could locate them with their username, by using the following technique -
Type the following code into the Spotify search bar - spotify:user:[username] (replacing [username] with their Spotify username), and you should be able to locate their account. For example, to find your account, type in spotify:user:chellievista and press enter, and your account will appear.
I think everyone would agree; If you don't have a Facebook account, than the solutions proposed by Spotify are only workarounds. Basically, Spotify didn't engineer their software for Spotify users. They engineered it for Facebook users. So us people who don't have Facebook have a considerably crappier experience. This is not a mistake. It's by design. And I obviously do not agree with the design, which I believe is quite subpar on this particular point.
sorry yes I mean follow, how can you follow a friend from facebook who uses spotify, w/o waiting for the random follow message to appear. Most of the people that it asks me to follow, do not even have a library, so the suggestions are kinda pointless. Only rarely does a green follow box appear, wt a person that even uses spotify, wt a good music library.
If you know the name of the person then you should just be able to search for them in the main search box and as long as you are friends on Facebook you should get a search suggestion for their profile under the heading "users":
Does that not work?
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The spotify:user search function requires you to know the exact Spotify username of your friend. If your friends username is Abc123 and you search for Abc12, nothing will show up.
You can try just searching the user name multiple ways and look under Profiles from the name search each time. There might be allot of users using some form of that user name. What your friend could do is send you an URI link to one of their user created playlists in a social media page, or a pm, or email message, and when you open the playlist in either the desktop app or webplayer just under the playlist name their correct user name will be shown, and clicking on it will allow you to go directly to their profile page so you can click on their follow button.