I'm typing this on a $2500 MacBook Pro I purchased 9 years ago. It's in like new condition. I've updated to a SSD 2 years ago. Apple doesn't appreciate customers like myself, and won't offer an OSX update that functions other than 10.7.5. The only thing that exacerbates the situation more is when an insignificant streaming music app tells me I need to go purchase another $2500 laptop because they won't (can't?) support my current OS.
Here's an idea, one I've sent to Slack and other lazy services: do better. You're obviously fresh from university, and can't think outside the box. But I believe in you. YOU can do better. Rather than focusing on stupid gimmicks, or spending money trying to expand your company in meaningless ways, focus on the customer. The "customer" includes those that are completely unrelatable to YOU, the young developer or the fresh PM. Somebody at your company has completely failed at their job. I'm your target customer, the one type that makes or breaks your business, and I have no desire to continue using your service.